


I'm Okay, You're Okay

by SnowyPenguin



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Connor Deserves Happiness, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, It's really sad and heartbreaking, Love, M/M, Rape Aftermath, So does Kevin, They Get Through It, Trauma, Whump, but the boys love each other and they will be okay, hurt!Connor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 23:17:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13600527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowyPenguin/pseuds/SnowyPenguin
Summary: Connor instantly felt Kevin’s arms wrap around him. They felt comforting and safe and warm and all he wanted to do was magically melt into Kevin—become part of Kevin.“Connor, what happened to you?” Kevin cried out, tears running down his face now at the sight of his fiancé. “You’re soaked. Your pants are completely soaked through. Why are you all wet? What happened in here?”Connor opened his mouth to explain—to explain it all, everything—but found he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t know why he couldn’t, but he couldn’t.





	I'm Okay, You're Okay

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter contains a graphic, violent scene, but after this first chapter, there won't be any more violence in the rest of the fic and will be hurt/comfort. The violent scene was not intended to be sensationalized so apologies if it came off that way? The fic's core will be love and hurt/comfort. You can even skip that scene and still enjoy the rest of the story without really missing any big details.

“Mmm.” Kevin moaned rather loudly as he slowly trailed a series of tiny little kisses along the pale skin of Connor’s neck, gently brushing his lips over the seas of freckles they found there.

“Have I mentioned how much I love you?” Kevin murmured into his neck. “‘Cause I do.” Another kiss. “A lot.”

“Only about fifty times.” Connor closed his eyes with a giggle as he leaned into the sensation of Kevin’s tongue roaming down the skin of his neck. “But don’t worry, I’m not complaining.”

Pulling back a little, Kevin suggestively jiggled the empty margarita glass sitting in front of Connor.

“Looks like you need a refill.” He beamed. “I’ll buy this round.”

“Why, I do believe you’re trying to get me drunk, Kevin Price.” Connor feigned admonishment with a grin as he wrapped his arms around Kevin’s shoulders. He took a moment just to look deep into Kevin’s eyes—his beautiful, happy brown eyes. In truth, Connor did feel quite tipsy. But then again, they were celebrating.

Earlier that night, Kevin had popped a very important question—okay, he popped  _the_ question, the only question that mattered.

“Connor McKinley.” Kevin had grinned earlier, as he held the paler man’s hand in his own and slipped a shiny, silver-colored ring over his left ring finger. The ring he gave Connor was speckled with tiny diamond chips, making it shimmer delicately in the soft candlelight. “Will you marry me?”

Connor cried, of course, upon hearing those words fall out of Kevin’s mouth. How could he not? The man of his dreams, the man he’d fallen so helplessly in love with over the past two years on their mission, was asking him to _marry_  him. Crying was a given. But after the tears had dried and the excitement settled down a bit, Kevin suggested they go out on the town to celebrate with dinner, drinks and dancing.

Alright, they were in Salt Lake City, Utah. Well, not even Salt Lake City, Utah. A really small suburb on the outskirts of Salt Lake City, Utah. Therefore, “out on the town” actually meant their local hole in the wall dive bar where many less-than-attractive dredges of society came to mingle with one another after work. But Kevin and Connor were floating on cloud nine, so they were perfectly content with eating crappy bar food for dinner and dancing to jukebox music. They knocked back quite a few cheap drinks together, cuddling close and kissing in one of the booths. Through the rose-colored haze of post-proposal bliss, neither of them really cared all that much where they went that night to celebrate, as long as they were there together.

“Mmm.” Connor mumbled as Kevin laid a soft kiss to his lips. “Okay, one more drink but then we should probably call it a night, okay? I’m seriously starting to see two of you.”

“Deal.” Kevin got up and sauntered over to the bar in his usual confident manner.

Connor realized then that he desperately needed to pee—he hadn’t used the bathroom since they got to the bar two hours ago. Waving to Kevin to let him know he was excusing himself to the restroom, he wandered to the back of the bar.

Humming softly to himself, he positioned himself at a urinal where he was about to go about his business when suddenly a couple of rather rowdy-looking men came barging into the bathroom, cursing and talking rather loud.

“Hey, faggot.” The one man slurred angrily to Connor, giving him a hard shove, abruptly knocking him away from the urinal.

Connor’s eyes widened in complete shock and horror at both the hateful curse and the fact that this asshole had  _shoved_  him. In all his years of being a (rather openly) closeted gay man, never had he actually been called the  _F word_  before and never had he been physically assaulted in this manner. He didn’t like the looks of these guys. He needed to get out of there—now.

“Excuse me.” Connor muttered politely under his breath as he made a break for it, towards the door, forgetting all about the fact that he desperately needed to pee. He just wanted to get out of there. That was all he wanted to do. There was something  _off_ about these men, Connor could tell, and he didn’t like the looks of them at all.

That was when he felt himself being forcefully yanked back by one of the man’s rough hands.

“Hey!” Connor gasped in surprise, trying to wrangle himself out of the hold the man had on him. “This isn’t funny, let me go. Come on, let me go, guys.”

“Lock the door, will you?” The man holding Connor in place bellowed gruffly to the other man, who promptly shut the door, pulling out a key and locking it so no one could get in.

“You can’t lock the door,” Connor said, timidly, to the man, “this is a public bathroom. Now let me go, okay?”

“No way, faggot.” The man holding Connor in place spat in his ear, his tone one of biting contempt. “First, we’re gonna teach you a little lesson.”

“For coming into our bar,” the other man finished for him, “and bringing your faggy little friend with you.”

That was when Connor felt a gigantic thud hit the bottom of his stomach. These guys weren’t playing around. They wanted to…hurt him? They wanted to hurt him.  _Oh, God._

“You like getting fucked in the ass, don’t you, faggot?” The other man said, pushing Connor through the bathroom corridor and into one of the stalls.

“No.” Connor whimpered, pathetically. “No, no, please…please don’t hurt me.”

The man slammed Connor’s body up against the wall of the tiny stall. He could feel the cold tile pressed against his cheek. One man tied his hands back with a piece of rope as the other undid his belt buckle. He knew he should’ve been fighting back—shouldn’t he have been fighting back? He knew he should’ve been, but his brain couldn’t think straight and he found his body simply wouldn’t move. It just wouldn’t move. He felt helpless and paralyzed—frozen in place from total fear.

“Kevin!” Connor finally mustered the courage to shout, in an effort to escape this Hell, because he had no idea what else to do. What else could he do? He’d never, in his life, been in this kind of situation before. He was petrified and scared and these men were callous and rough and he had no idea what to do.

“Kevin! Help me!” He screamed. “Help!”

“Shut up!” The man barked, smacking Connor hard across the face. “Shut the fuck up, faggot!” Another smack.

“Kevin!” Connor cried. He could feel the rush of tears racing down his cheeks. “Kevin…” He whimpered softly before getting cut off by one of the men ripping his pants down, lumping them into an unceremonious pool down by his ankles.

“No, no, no…this can’t…this can’t be happening,” Connor whimpered meekly as he heard the man behind him unzip his pants. “Please don’t do this.” He began to sob into the cold tile as he felt the man run a slow hand over his bottom. “I—I—I’m a v—virgin.” He stammered, admitting the truth, hoping to tug at whatever heartstrings these brutes may have had left inside them.

Connor was still a virgin. He and Kevin were pretty inexperienced, when it came to sex, having been raised Mormon and all. Neither of them had ever been in a real relationship before, let alone a gay relationship, so they had decided to take it slow—physically, at least. The time was coming soon though, when they would finally take the plunge, especially now that they were engaged. They had been planning their first time for quite a while now, wanting all of the details to be absolutely perfect. It was supposed to be the best, most romantic, meaningful night of their lives. It was something they’d both been looking forward to for a long time—something they’d put a lot of thought into planning.

But now—now that this man was about to violate him in the worst, most private way possible—all of those plans he’d made with Kevin…they would be ruined, wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t they? His first time was supposed to be with Kevin, the man he loved—the man he was going to marry—his first and only love. But now that was all looking to be lost to these criminal heathen nobodies who were about to assault his person in the most humiliating, degrading way possible.

“Please don’t do this.” Connor sobbed uncontrollably, hiccupping every few seconds. “I’ve been saving myself for—for my fiancé. I’m not like you think. I’m not…I’m not whatever you think I am. I’m a Mormon. I’ve never—I’ve never even been with anyone before, I swear, it’s the truth. Just please—please let me go. It’s not like you think…”

“Liar.”

“Dirty fag.” The man barked as he ripped Connor’s underwear down to his feet, leaving his bottom vulnerable and exposed. “Whore. You’re nothing but a dirty faggot whore.”

Crying now and unable to make any more words come out of his mouth, Connor braced himself for the inevitable.

And soon, the inevitable came—it came fast and rough and with enough pain to momentarily stop Connor’s mind from working.

Connor screamed in agony as the larger man forced his way inside of him—his entrance being torn and stretched without mercy. As the man thrusted into him, he did so with an amount of anger and rage Connor couldn’t even understand. How could someone possibly have this much hate inside of them? Enough to do this to a person? An innocent person. With every violent thrust, Connor cried loudly, in excruciating pain, the other man covering his mouth shut to keep anyone from hearing his cries.

After a couple of minutes of this torture, and without realizing it at first, Connor had begun to urinate all over himself. He only realized it was happening when he felt it dripping down his legs, soaking into his underpants and jeans on the floor. The fear must have gotten to him—this was all just too much to handle.

“Oh, fuck!” The man inside of him yelled, removing his dick from Connor’s entrance. “He pissed himself!”

“Just keep going.” The other man yelled, pushing him back towards Connor. “We’ve been in here too long, we have to make it quick. Hurry up and finish so we can get out of here.”

The other man obliged and, after a couple of minutes that felt like an eternity for Connor, he finally came inside of his victim with a loud, satisfied grunt.

Connor could feel the man’s orgasm shooting up inside of him. The sensation nearly made him vomit. He involuntarily dry heaved a few times, earning himself another hard slap from one of his aggressors.

“Let’s go.” One of the men said, pulling his friend out of the stall and back out to the bar, where they’d undoubtedly disappear, never to be heard from again.

Connor just stood there, whimpering in pain as he felt the urine trickle down his legs. He had no idea what had just happened. It felt surreal—like a blur—as though this was all just a dream and in a moment he’d wake up in bed, next to Kevin, where he’d tell him all about the horrible men and the horrible dream and the horrible feeling of being torn apart at the seams.

But he didn’t wake up. He just stood there, in total shock and denial, as he tried to process the event. He couldn’t. It was all just too painful, too crazy, too horrible.

Finally, he managed to pull his white briefs and khakis back up over his body and zipped his pants. They were covered in pee. How could he go back out there covered in tears and pee and that disgusting stranger’s _touch_  all over him?

“Con?” Connor heard Kevin’s voice. “Connor, are you alright?”

Connor gasped as he heard Kevin’s voice. At last, Kevin was here. Kevin was here now. Everything would be okay. He had Kevin. Kevin was right here. Kevin would fix it. Kevin would make everything all better again.

“Connor, are you okay?” He asked again, softer this time, knocking gently on the door of the stall. “You’ve been in here for a really long time now. Did something happen?”

Bursting into tears, Connor gasped, shaking his head. “I’m—I’m not okay.”

“What?” Kevin asked worriedly, his voice much more alarmed now. “Connor, let me in there.” He shook the door, trying to pop it open. “Connor, let me in there right now!”

Connor could hear the panic in his fiancé’s voice. It sounded jarring to his ears. All Connor wanted to do was crawl under the covers in his bed at home and never come back out again. He managed to open the door a crack, with a trembling hand, revealing a very distraught Kevin Price, who gasped loudly once he finally got a good look at Connor.

Connor instantly felt Kevin’s arms wrap around him. They felt comforting and safe and warm and all he wanted to do was magically melt into Kevin—become part of Kevin.

“Connor, what  _happened_  to you?” Kevin cried out, tears running down his face now at the sight of his fiancé. “You’re soaked. Your pants are completely soaked through. Why are you all wet? What happened in here?”

Connor opened his mouth to explain—to explain it all, everything—but found he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t know why he couldn’t, but he couldn’t.

“Are you upset because you had an accident?” Kevin asked softly, his voice a bit lower than before. Stepping back to look into Connor’s eyes and inspect his state, he nodded. “Okay, so you had an accident. You didn’t make it to the stall in time. It happens. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. We can fix this.”

“I—I,” Connor stammered, trying to force his mouth to make a proper sentence. “I—I’m wet. I’m all wet.” He gestured down to his pants. “Can’t—can’t go out there.” He shook his head. “Not—not like this.”

Connor could see Kevin’s mind instantly going to work, formulating a plan, assessing the situation. Connor watched on as he ran a nervous hand through his hair, deep in throught.

“Okay, take off your pants.” Kevin ordered after a moment, stepping close to Connor so he could help. The other man just flinched at the gesture, jolting back a bit when Kevin reached for his pants. Kevin looked confused now, not seeming to understand Connor’s reaction one bit. He tried again.

“Connor, don’t worry,” Kevin assured, “I’m just going to dry them under the hand dryer enough so you can make it home, okay? Just relax.”

Connor hiccupped and reluctantly allowed Kevin to slip his pants off.

“Not my underwear.” Connor mumbled, clutching onto his underwear, trying to hold them up so Kevin couldn’t snatch them away. “Please…no.”

“Connor, they’re  _soaking_  wet.” Kevin said sternly, his face visibly confused. He looked as though he had absolutely no idea what was going on here. “Connor, I’m just going to run them under the dryer so we can go home, that’s all. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’re okay.”

Connor shook his head fiercely, tears pouring down his face. “Not—not my underwear, please. Please not my underwear.”

“Connor.” Kevin soothed, his voice calm and gentle. “Connor, come ‘ere.”

He stepped close to Connor, pulling him into an embrace. The redhead whimpered at the touch as he allowed Kevin to gently slip the underwear off of him. Tears continued to run furiously down his face.

“Hey, there, sweetie.” Kevin cooed softly, once he got a good look at Connor’s face. “Shhhh. Shh, shh. It’s okay.”

Tears were streaming down Connor’s bright red cheeks, leaving angry streaks in their wakes. He shook his head, trying to indicate it wasn’t okay without saying any words. He couldn’t seem to say words yet—not really.

“Sweetie, I’m here. I’m right here. Everything’s okay.” Kevin said calmly, trying his best to force a smile. He pulled Connor into him, holding him nice and close. “Everything’s alright now, sweetheart. This was all just an accident. I’m sure you’ll be laughing about it tomorrow.” He chuckled. “Just calm down, okay? We’re gonna get you home. Then you can get all cleaned up and forget this ever even happened.”

Connor burst into another round of tears, clutching onto Kevin’s back for strength. There was definitely no way he’d be laughing tomorrow. Not tomorrow, not the next day, nor any other day. But Kevin couldn’t have known that. As far as Kevin was concerned, Connor just had an unfortunate accident in the men’s room. Not something as brutal and tragic as rape.

Between his backside burning hot with a fury of a thousand suns and his fiancé holding his soaking wet underwear in his hands—Connor McKinley felt as though he’d never be able to laugh again.

**Author's Note:**

> After this first chapter, there won't be any more violence in the rest of the fic and will be hurt/comfort. 
> 
> I know this fic seems super sad and graphic at points but I swear I won't end this with them being unhappy bois. It will get better for them soon!


End file.
